Humanity has pondered this question for eons: How do we attract things into our lives?
There are two fundamental schools of thought around this. Werner Erhard, founder of Landmark and EST, has a great metaphor to describe one viewpoint. He says many people drive through life thinking the rear view mirror is the steering wheel. He believes that while we think we’re in control of our life, it has its own journey.
On the other hand, many people subscribe to the idea that we create the circumstances, relationships, successes and failures in our life, and if we want certain things—more money, a husband or new career—we have the power to will them into being.
A question I get asked to reflect on often—and one that I spend a lot of time thinking about myself is—so, which is it?
Are we manifestors of our lives or are we navigators of what we’re given?
Here’s my take on this thorny questions: I believe we’re both.
My spiritual teacher, Dawn Eaglewoman, says that the point of inception—when we make a choice—is when we have the most power. Once we choose a path, then we’re navigating many factors—some of which we’re creating ourselves, and others which are completely out of our control.
I love this explanation because it directly reflects the experiences I’ve had in my own life.
And while I do believe in the law of attraction, I don’t believe attraction is wishing for something.
Instead, I believe attraction is about checking in with yourself, finding what resonates deeply with you and not asking for the cultural shortcuts that promise happiness—like a certain body size, Prince Charming, a mega mansion—but seeking the experience that ONLY YOU can fulfill in your own individual expression.
So how do we practice that kind of attraction?
1) First, it’s important that your basic needs are met.
Abraham Maslow had a theory that evolutionary work only begins when we have sufficient food, shelter, health, safety, and support systems through friendships and loved ones. If any of these are missing, then our focus must be on achieving and fulfilling those needs. These can be modest aspirations.
2) Then, check in with your deeper self. What do you really want?
This is the essential part of attraction—checking in with your deeper self and feeling the sensations that can guide you to the opportunities you’re looking for. Is it a message that’s bubbling up inside of you that’s leading you to your true desire? Or a projection you have from the outside world that doesn’t actually resonate deeply with you?
3) Set an intention.
Now that you’ve figured out what you want, set an intention to get it. While it’s still very much yours to create, you still want the Universe to know that you mean business.
4) Take small steps regularly in the direction of your desire.
Here’s an important tip to keep in mind. Don’t try—or expect—to make it all happen at once.
Instead, take small steps. One of the most powerful things I’ve learned about this part of the process is that, in the beginning, it’s very much up to you. You wake up early and write the first few pages of the book you want to publish, or begin networking with people to find that new job. But at some point, the process takes over—you’ll feel it when it does—and then you’re just following the direction of the bigger plan for you.
Now, I’d love to know: How do you believe you attract things in your life? Leave a comment below!
To our paths, chosen and unchosen,
Melissa