Everyone dreams of adventure, even if it’s just “armchair daydreaming.” The experience of reading a great book, like Poisonwood Bible, can take you on a week-long adventure to the Congo, an adventure which won’t end until you read the last page. Or how about binge TV-watching, enjoying a program like Game of Thrones—traveling back in time to the medieval era, vicariously living the outrageous lives portrayed, encountering danger and evil, hour after hour. It’s all good!
What would it mean to go beyond living adventure through other people’s stories toward dreaming up your own adventure?
My own call to adventure — to go to Afghanistan as a war journalist — began like this:
“The excitement was to be liberated in the moment, exhilarated to breathe in a zone free of constraints and labels, and removed from family obligations…”
~ Excerpt from Chapter 1, “Afghanistan Ambush,” from my memoir, My Journey Through War and Peace: Explorations of a Young Filmmaker, Feminist and Spiritual Seeker, Book 1 from the Pathfinder Trilogy, an adventurous spiritual memoir series.
The call to adventure can feel scary, risky, as well as exciting. Sometimes we hesitate. In The Power of Myth, Joseph Campbell gives us many examples of the hero’s journey beginning with some reluctance.
“My mind vacillated between thinking: ‘How the hell did I get here?’ and ‘What the hell should I do now?’”
~ Excerpt from Chapter 1, “Afghanistan Ambush,” My Journey through War and Peace
Sometimes we don’t have a choice. Let’s say a divorce forces you to move on to a new chapter in your life. Or your children grow up and leave home, making change inevitable. Maybe you lose your job? Even something like a sudden illness can open up possibilities for adventure.
Remember that doing nothing is also a choice. How do you become confident enough to leap into the unknown and take action? Don’t wait for life to throw something your way. Feel the fear. Do it already!
There are a number of role models of glorious women who turned their adventures into quests. In her memoir, Eat, Pray, Love, Elizabeth Gilbert tells the story of how she left her husband and traveled to Italy, India and Bali. There she encountered not only great food, but also a new spirituality. And there was healing, too, the discovery of a deep connection to what really matters. A new chapter was written in her life. She was happier and felt more alive (she even met a new man!). A quantum leap had been taken!
Cheryl Strayed told her own story of rebirth in her memoir, Wild. Strayed had hit rock bottom after her mother’s death, taking heroine to cope with the grief. (Her [literal] journey involved an arduous hike up the Pacific Crest Trail). She, too, found solace and strength in acknowledging her fear and moving beyond it.
Yes, it’s easier to read these books (or watch the movies based on them) than to set off, get on that plane, or put on your hiking boots and go. Gilbert and Strayed didn’t know when they set out on their adventures how things would turn out–that their books would become best sellers, be made into movies, etc.–nor did they plunge into the abyss with these goals in mind. They were impelled to do so.
I know the feeling:
“In this remote wilderness, I wanted to discover an aspect of myself that felt whole, strong, and confident. And there was something stronger, a magnetic force drawing me to adventure, to a future unknown.”
~ Excerpt from Chapter 1, “Afghanistan Ambush,” My Journey through War and Peace
Travel is a surefire way of finding adventure, but a quest can be ignited through other means, like studying a new field (this happened to me with writing), taking on a cause or volunteering, discovering a passion or a hobby to pursue. Such a quest not only takes planning (and saving money!), but also making new choices and doing things differently.
This is where you can get stuck, either in fear—which can lead to regret, or to repeating a familiar but unhealthy pattern—or even depression. Anne Kreamer writes, in her book, Risk/Reward, that nearly fifty percent of people who say they want to change their jobs actually don’t take any concrete steps in that direction.
I once attended a “Fear Cure” workshop during which Dr. Lissa Rankin spoke on this topic. She claimed that fifty percent of the people who attended the workshop (the subject of which was how to heal oneself) could not envision themselves making any changes, even though they knew that the changes would lead them to healthier lives. Though the discussion was purely hypothetical, still only half of the participants could imagine changing. Imagine!
Resistance to change, to adventure, is REAL. We often settle for what feels safe. What would it take change this mindset?
Let me address the fifty percent of you who dream of adventure but can’t yet make the jump. Here are three steps you can take in order to follow your call to adventure:
- Change your routine. The more tiny risks you take, the more you build an inner strength that will tip you into the do-it-already! group. Start with a simple step, like changing your routine. Take a different route home on your way from work. Or instead of watching TV, read a book. Start small. Try drinking your coffee without milk one morning. Then pay attention to how you feel and let the new experience sink into your awareness.
- Change your attitude. It’s important to remember that this calling is about following your internal compass, not what society (family or others) expects of you.
- Find a friend, coach, family member, or counselor who can be your cheerleader and help you to embrace the changes you are making.
Sometimes our adventures can seem to be taking us in the wrong direction. It’s only with time and distance that your choices will begin to make sense. When you’re in the middle of the experience, it can feel messy, confusing–even impossible. Remember to breathe your way through the anxiety and fear (note: read my blog “Three Ways to Overcome Anxiety,” for support).
One way to know that you are on the right path, to hang in there, is this: pay attention to synchronicities. When I take time to notice messages–surprises or coincidences resulting from unrelated happenings that make me feel connected, in awe–I am better able to trust my decisions. For example, on the day I started a new project with a new partner, I found a robin’s egg in the chair on my balcony, a delightful surprise!
Following one’s calling is not a one-shot deal. The more you jump into the unknown, the stronger that muscle will be for the next adventure. Then, as in any good story (see Campbell’s hero’s journey), the challenges get harder and harder, and the stakes higher. No wonder so many people bypass adventure, becoming stuck as mere armchair travelers.
Remember that if you start with baby steps, you’ll be on the path to your next adventure in no time. I guarantee you’ll never turn back.
