Eckhart Tolle once said that when you label a rose a rose, you stop seeing it and experiencing it—it becomes like any other rose. But when you observe the rose without labeling it, you see the true qualities of the rose and experience the sensations in your body that rose inspires.
As Tolle wrote, “…when you are alert and contemplate a flower, crystal, or bird without naming it mentally, it becomes a window for you into the formless.” That’s when you become transformed.
When I worked in homeopathy, I learned that the same was true for diseases. When you get a diagnosis like “I have seasonal allergies,” then the cluster of symptoms becomes the label for everything related to your allergies. Any opportunity to experience what’s going on is narrowed to the disease. You become “ a person with allergies” and go to the doctor or the drug store and get medication to stop the allergies.
And the exploration stops. Your symptoms might be numbed by medication, but the root of your allergies is never addressed. You never learn from your allergies, or experience opportunities to change or transform because of them.
This is exactly how we approach the issues in our lives, too.
My big issue has always been about feeling fat, which equated to feeling like I was unworthy, not good enough, unlovable, etc.
So the first thing I’d do is label myself and my problem—”fat”—and then immediately try to solve that problem by going on a diet. I’d count calories, exercise with the intention of burning calories and track my weight loss ounce by ounce. I’d weigh myself naked in the morning and define myself by the number I saw on the scale. All of my other passions came second during this time, and the only time I celebrated was when that number went down.
Every aspect of myself—the sensations in my body, the thoughts in my head, my connection to myself—was rebelling. But as a doer, the only way I knew how to move forward was to diet more.
Months would go by. I’d get skinnier, and, with every pound, expect to feel happier. Except I didn’t. I actually felt deeply unhappy. Unfulfilled. Irritable. Out of touch. Overwhelmed. Exhausted.
When we label our problems, we look at them from a very masculine lens. We identify what’s not working and quickly work to fix it.
After cycling through this pattern with my weight and many other issues in my life, I finally realized this approach wasn’t working. I was dieting to feel better, and at the end of each cycle, I felt even worse.
Instead, I combined what I’ve learned and practiced over the years from Eastern spiritual traditions, Greek mythology, Divine feminine and masculine principles, psychology and holistic medicine to create a completely new approach to healing the hurtful areas of my life, accessing my real truth and deepening my connection with myself and the Divine.
I’m going to be telling you more about this philosophy in the weeks to come, but today, I’m going to take you through a brief exercise to help you STOP labeling your problems and get to the core of what you’re experiencing instead.
Here’s what I want you to do:
The next time a “problem” arises—you feel fat, you feel disconnected from your husband, you don’t hit your latest business goal—I want you to sit with that problem.
I don’t want you to make any attempt to solve it. Instead, I want you to give it time to bubble up. I want you to examine what surfaces and to experience the sensations in your body. I want you to keep listening and keep sitting in the discomfort until you feel magnetized to do something new or different.
For example, last year, I found myself on yet another diet. The old pattern had come back. Except that this time, with every cell of my body, I knew I needed to approach it with my new philosophy rather than the old labelling it, solve it method.
So I asked for help, found myself a counselor who was focused on helping me experience the sensations in my body and “do” based on the awareness I cultivated with my body.
I didn’t lose any weight. But I did gain equilibrium and I felt beautiful, healthy and joyful—which is what I had wanted to feel every single time I cycled through those diets, and what I finally found for myself without ever losing a pound.
Once you learn how to stop labeling your problems and, instead, listen to what each experience tells you, the more opportunities appear in your life that resonate so deeply you can’t resist them.
When I started applying my new philosophy to all the areas of my life—like money issues— I discovered ways to handle the problem which would have seemed outrageous to me before adopting this philosophy (which is a whole other blog for the future).
The more you allow this path to be your path, the more it becomes individual to you. You truly know and are YOU—your best you, the YOU that you love unconditionally.
And you know what happens? Other people are drawn to YOU: to your essence and your true self. I always tell people: you know why puppies are so irresistible? Because they are 100% puppies. Nothing more, nothing less.
Here’s what I’d love to know: Are there problems you’ve labeled for too long that you’d love to finally heal? Leave a comment or hit reply and tell me what you’re struggling with.
P.S.: Know that philosophy I was just telling you about? I’ve got some exciting news to share about it in the next few weeks. If you’re interested in learning about a new approach, inspired by the teachings of Eastern spiritual traditions, Greek mythology, Divine feminine and masculine principles, psychology and holistic medicine, be sure to check your email over these next few weeks.